I decided this week I better email very first so that I have time to say all the things I have been neglecting to say. So sorry! Today our zone is going to lunch with President Fenn and then we are goi to have a Q&A with him. In case you were wondering President Fenn is a gospel scholar, I mean come on, his father in law was Bruce R. McConkie. So we're all pretty excited about it. I'm not sure if I told you this before, but I like to know everything. Haha I love learning, the whole process, the questions and study and then revelation. I think about things deeply and I like to find answers. So today is going to be awesome, because I have a whole list of questions I have been waiting to ask President Fenn, pretty much my whole mission. Haha
So we will start with all the things I barely covered last week. Last week was a really interesting week. It seems that Satan intends to fight me to the very end. I guess I should have seen that one coming. So I'm not really sure how it started but his dark cloud just snuck up on me and started raining down doubts and concerns and distractions and fears, and insecurities. My mind became a very disorganized and unfocused place. I felt like I was getting lost and being surrounded by mists of darkness. Maybe this sounds dramatic, but it was pretty much exactly how I felt. I just felt a little lost for awhile and I worried about being able to finish strong. Well I'd like to say it all just magically went a few days later and all is well, but that's not exactly how it happened. I learned something important about holding to the rod. In Lehi's vision there is an iron rod, it represents the word of God and in my opinion fervent prayer, basically it represents our connection to God. Well here is this rod, and people are holding onto it, making there way to the tree that represents the love of God, when suddenly this mist of darkness comes. It didn't come because they were doing anything wrong, but simply as an attack from the adversary, and something to try their faith. Well most people let go of the rod, and with that lost their way. But there were those who held on, in fact they held on more tightly and fought the distractions and the fear and kept their eyes focused on the little ray of light they could kind of see glimmering through the mist. Well I kind of felt like one of those people. I just tried to hold on. To study and pray more fervently and wait for more light, wait for guidance and strength from Heavenly Father. And gradually it came. I realized, mist doesn't just disappear. It's not that way in real life. But it lifts gradually and then you see the light and know that it's all going to be okay. That's kind of where I am at right now. The mist is lifting and I am seeing more clearly. I have learned to "hush my fears" and have fought to refocus my mind and not allow distractions. I want to serve with all my heart and all my mind all the way to the very end. So I have been praying fervently for help from Heavenly Father to resist distractions, and temptation, and have been learning the principle of "taking up your cross daily" and maybe sometimes hourly, because "the spirit is willing but the flesh indeed in weak". But that all being said, don't worry, I'm feeling much better now. I have a new sense of determination and strength from my Father in Heaven. :) I love him.
So also this last Sunday was awesome :) first off, Edward was baptized!! Yay!! He was 30 minutes late to his baptism. Cool. Haha but that is the life of a Hispanic, time is just in your head. But it was a really cool baptism and I was so happy to be apart of it. I love that boy. He is going to be such a strength to his family because he wants so badly to be good. I'm probably going to have to bring these little boys to visit when it comes time for their missions, so I can make sure they get on their missions!! But the coolest thing was that about halfway during the baptism (which took place before church in Sunday) I looked down the hallway and saw this less active family we teach pretty irregularly. It was one of the few times in my life when I literally could not believe what my eyes were telling me they were seeing. But this family came, and they stayed for church.
So a little background in this family, the mom and dad, and one of their 5 kids were baptized over a year ago, probably close to a year and a half ago. Well after their baptism they never came back to church. Ever. They basically avoided the missionaries and there was no progression from them at all, no commitment. Well just recently in December, they reached out to the church for help and then began to let the missionaries in. But even then, I have been in this area since January and I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times I have been in their home, and when we do get in their home it feels like we are trying to convince a wall to come back to church. So it has been really difficult. Well I don't give up on less actives. It's just my policy. They're already part of the fold and you don't have the option of giving up on them, I covenanted not to let them slip through the cracks. So on Saturday we were planning to go visit them and my companion was frustrated, she didn't understand why we even kept trying to help them. So I explained my policy and then I told her we needed to figure out what Heavenly Father wanted us to do and stop getting on the way. Well we had a really revelatory study for them after that, that completely changed Hermana Diaz' perspective and we went and taught them. It was just the mom and we invited her to church and she said she would be there! Well I don't want to be of little faith, but facing the brutal reality of the situation it wasn't likely they were going to be there. BUT THEY CAME! :) it was so cool. Also on Saturday we did serve for this other less active that hasn't been to church in years, but who recently allowed her now 18yr old daughter to be baptized, we invited her to church and she came too!! There was just so many miracles. :D
I love Sundays. They have come to be my favorite day of the week. Not because everyone comes to church, or really anything except that it is the day I get to partake of the sacrament. By the end of the week, my soul needs a renewal, I have become tainted and need a clean slate. When I prepare for the sacrament during the week and then go and take of the bread and water on Sunday, my would is infused with light and strength. I try to ponder on my Savior and his sacrifice and I commit myself to living more worthily of the companionship of the spirit and remembering more often my Savior. The Sabbath day is a day to remember the mercy of The Lord. I was reading about this topic recently and I came across a quote I really liked, it says:
"We can readily see that our observance of the Sabbath is an indication of the depth of our conversion...our observance or non-observance of the Sabbath is an unerring measure of our attitude toward the Lord personally and toward His suffering in Gethsemane, His death on the cross, and His resurrection from the dead. It is a sign of whether we are Christians in very deed, or whether our conversion is so shallow that commemoration of His atoning sacrifice means little or nothing to us" -Elder Mark E. Peterson
That's pretty intense. But so true, if we truly understand and appreciate the atonement of our Savior, nothing takes precedence over dedicating our Sabbath day to Him. That doesn't just mean taking of the sacrament and then going about doing whatever else we want on our Sunday. In Preach My Gospel (written by the prophets and apostles) it says, "When a community or nation [or family or individual] grows careless in its Sabbath activities, its religious life decays and all aspects of life are negatively affected. The blessings associated with keeping the Sabbath day holy are lost. We should refrain from shopping on the Sabbath and participating in other commercial and sporting activities that now commonly desecrate the Sabbath". Well that's pretty direct. I love the line I underlined, all aspects are negatively affected. I love the Sabbath day, it truly is a gift from our Father in Heaven who loves us and wants to bless us if we will only make ourselves more worthy of these blessings. I invite you all to consider your sabbath day worship and make it more in line with what the Savior expects of us.
Just to finish because this is ridiculously long, this awesome quote I found in a talk this morning,
"We cannot enjoy optional obedience to the laws of God, or place our own limits on the law of sacrifice, or mitigate the charges of righteous conduct connected with living the gospel. We cannot be willing to sacrifice only that which is convenient to part with, and then expect a reward. The Atonement is everything; it is not to be had “on the cheap.” God is not mocked in these things; we do not make promises and covenants with mental reservations. Unless we keep our covenants, Satan has power over us.....The point of all this is that atonement requires of the beneficiary nothing less than willingness to part with his most precious possession. Joined with the requirement of sacrifice is the requirement of consecration, which has no limiting “if necessary” clause; we agree to it unconditionally here and now. It represents our contribution to our salvation." (-Hugh Nibley: The Atonement of Jesus Christ, Part 4).
Well I love you all. I know obedience and sacrifice is what will bring us before the pleasing judgement bar of God with a clean conscience. I know the redemptive and ennobling power of the Atonement are real. It makes up everything we lack and is also the difference between where we are and where we need to be. From the very depths of my soul I want to be good and do good. I want the same for all of you too. I never knew before what I know now. I love the gospel and I want to hold to the rod and live it actively and diligently all my life. I invite you to hold to the rod and do the same, because the mist is covering the earth and if we do not hold tightly and are not careful, we will be lost, almost imperceptibly. I love you all. Fight the good fight, please.
Sent from my iPad
Just to finish because this is ridiculously long, this awesome quote I found in a talk this morning,
"We cannot enjoy optional obedience to the laws of God, or place our own limits on the law of sacrifice, or mitigate the charges of righteous conduct connected with living the gospel. We cannot be willing to sacrifice only that which is convenient to part with, and then expect a reward. The Atonement is everything; it is not to be had “on the cheap.” God is not mocked in these things; we do not make promises and covenants with mental reservations. Unless we keep our covenants, Satan has power over us.....The point of all this is that atonement requires of the beneficiary nothing less than willingness to part with his most precious possession. Joined with the requirement of sacrifice is the requirement of consecration, which has no limiting “if necessary” clause; we agree to it unconditionally here and now. It represents our contribution to our salvation." (-Hugh Nibley: The Atonement of Jesus Christ, Part 4).
Well I love you all. I know obedience and sacrifice is what will bring us before the pleasing judgement bar of God with a clean conscience. I know the redemptive and ennobling power of the Atonement are real. It makes up everything we lack and is also the difference between where we are and where we need to be. From the very depths of my soul I want to be good and do good. I want the same for all of you too. I never knew before what I know now. I love the gospel and I want to hold to the rod and live it actively and diligently all my life. I invite you to hold to the rod and do the same, because the mist is covering the earth and if we do not hold tightly and are not careful, we will be lost, almost imperceptibly. I love you all. Fight the good fight, please.
Sent from my iPad
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