Well this week has been really good and also weird, not having church
in Sunday kind of made the week feel weird, I was kind of grumpy this
whole week, oops...but the sun was shining and it was pretty warm a
couple days (by warm I mean like 30's or 40's). We had some amazing
studies and learned so much. Hermana Neff and I always have great
conversations, she told me the other day "when people start talking to
me, everyone learns something and is edified". It was one of the
nicest things compliments I have received. She has helped me a lot to
see areas I have improved in by pointing out different things and
complimenting them, without knowing it was something I was working on,
but I feel like through her, Heavenly Father is trying to let me know
He is pleased with my progress. It has been really cool. This week has
been one full of reflections and seeing the changes that have occurred
in my life, seeing how God has made me a new person or "a new
creature". I mean in a lot of ways I am the same, I laugh to much, and
my humor is the same, by my priorities and desires have changed
completely. I have a new vision, new goals, new faith. I feel filled
somehow, or more complete. I have more clarity and more trust in
myself. I just feel happy, really truly, deeply happy. Not the
happiness that is dependent on circumstances, but that inner
contentment and peace. I love the gospel so much, I love being a
missionary so much. That being said, I'm not scared of finishing my
mission. I'm not nervous about what's coming next. I'm not overly
preoccupied by it. I mean I feel like it's coming so fast (3 months
left this week) but I feel peaceful about it. I'm just doing my best
to do my best, I want to finish with no regrets, so I'm working hard
and relying heavily on The Lord's Grace to make up for what I lack, to
help me keep growing, and to help me keep changing, and overcoming.
His Grace is sufficient.
On the topic of fears though I have come to terms with my biggest
fear, which is that I will forget. I'm afraid I will forget how
essential this work is. That I will forget that I may be the biggest
hope the people around me have of finding the truth. I don't want to
become the type of person who doesn't prioritize God's Work in my
life. I'm afraid of becoming afraid to share the gospel, or forgetting
how to be an everyday missionary. I never want to forget that this
work is His "work and glory" and if I love him, I will feed His sheep.
I want to be able to remember that The Lord can always use me as an
instrument to bring His children to Him. So I have been pondering on
that a lot this week. How to remember, because all the return
missionaries I talk to, or most of them talk about how easy, and
quickly you forget. So with my pondering came some interesting
conclusions:
#1 Garnishing our thoughts with virtue- or in other words, what are
you thinking about? Do you spend so much time watching tv (me)
listening to music (me) that this becomes what replays in your mind
all day and then there is no room to think about gospel topics, or do
you spend an adequate amount of time studying the doctrines of the
gospel, so that throughout your day you keep going back to that and
thinking on those topics? I think that is a key to remembering,
filling your mind with things that will draw you to the Savior,
because then you will naturally talk about it and want to bring others
to that same knowledge.
#2 The primary responsibility of every calling (especially those in
Ward council) is to bring others to Christ, to "minister and Shepard".
So I learned all about this from Ward council on Sunday. The stake
presidency was there and they told a story about how when Elder Bednar
was asked what the responsibility of members of the Ward council was
he answered "to Shepard people to the temple". So that helped me to
understand that our callings in the church are primarily designed to
minister to others and Shepard them to the temple, including all the
steps in that process. If you are really striving to fulfill your
calling and focusing on the people, you are a missionary. I learned a
lot of really cool things in this meeting that I will have to remember
and apply in later life, but it would probably be boring to you.
Basically the objective of Ward council meetings, regardless of your
calling is to focus on the people, and the ordinances they need. Our
stake president quoted on of the 12, I can't remember who, but he
said, "When set apart you are first and foremost called to be a member
of the Ward council, and then to your specific calling, your duties in
the Ward council come first". It was so cool.
#3 Marry someone who wants to do missionary work. Someone who is going
to remind you when you forget, and who you can remind when they
forget. Marry someone who wants to keep progress in the gospel,
learning and growing more. This has become nonnegotiable for me.
President Fenn always talks about, or I guess has talked to me about
how I need to marry someone who "wants to climb mountains" someone who
wants to work hard, and does not become content with "where they are
at" otherwise my potential will never be realized and my progress
slowed.
I am learning so much right now. I'm not sure where the growth spurt
came from, but everyday I have a moment where I'm just like 'wow' and
have something new to chew on. Being a trainer is really helping me
grow. On our studies I hear the things I am saying and I know it isn't
coming from me, and I learn. I love the spirit, the true teacher.
Also, next week is transfers, it's a weird week, so transfers will be
on a Friday, and therefor Pday will be on Thursday. That's when I will
email. Also, Manuel and Edward didn't come to church so they won't be
getting baptized quite yet. But hopefully still soon.
Well I love you all. Fight the good fight. Be cool and awesome. Stay
healthy and be happy.
Love,
Hermana Simmons
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